The Iron Scriptures

And Brodin spake, saying, "In the beginning was the Iron, and the Iron was with Gains, and the Iron was Gains." Thus in the image of Swoliness did He create lifters, both male and female, and blessed them saying, "Be fruitful and multiply thy plates, and fill the rack and subdue it: and have dominion over the dumbbells, and over the barbells, and over every machine that moveth upon the face of the gym."