The Iron Scriptures

And lo, King Swolomon, blessed by Gainzilla, did swing the kettlebell with mighty purpose, declaring unto his people, "Thou shalt master the hip hinge before attempting the swing, lest thy lower back bear witness against thee on the day of judgment." The wise king built his temple of strength not with stones of marble, but with iron bells of varying weights, for he knew that functional strength would carry his warriors through both battle and daily tasks with equal glory.